Last night I got this dumb idea in my shower – why not learn still life painting? Free tutorials everywhere right? Spoiler: it’s messy but kinda worked.
My “Plan” (More Like Panic)
Grabbed an old mug, some sad looking bananas, and a weirdly shaped rock from my backyard. Set ’em on a cardboard box covered with my grandma’s tablecloth. Instant “studio”. Propped up my phone to record – felt real fancy.
The Hunting Game
Googled “draw things for idiots”. Clicked like 50 tabs. Found:
- Some Russian lady’s Youtube channel: She draws fruit for 3 hours straight. No talking. Just… drawing. Weirdly relaxing.
- A forum thread from 2010: Dude swore by using a burnt stick instead of pencil. Tried it. Got ash everywhere. Cat hated me.
- A PDF someone scanned: From an ancient library book. Pages were crooked. Taught me how to see shapes like blobs first. Changed everything.
Attack of the Banana
Tackled the banana first. Big mistake. Looked like a lumpy sausage. Restarted maybe 10 times. Got mad. Ate the banana model. Drank from the mug model. Rock just sat there judging me.
Finally switched to shading that ugly rock. Somehow… easier? Less pressure. Smudged the pencil lines with my finger like that PDF said. Boom! Suddenly looked 3D. Felt like a wizard. A very messy wizard.
The “Good Enough” Victory
Spent 3 hours total. Mug’s handle is crooked. New banana looks only slightly better. Rock is my masterpiece. Put ‘em all together? Honestly? Looks like a kindergartener did it after eating glue. BUT! I see light hitting stuff now. I notice shadows have colors. Saw my wrinkled tablecloth as shapes, not just… cloth. That PDF blob trick? Gold.
Why bother? Honestly? My kid laughed his head off at my banana. Worth every second of ash-covered frustration. Would I pay for a class? Maybe now. But starting free? Yeah. Dumb shower ideas sometimes stick. Unlike that charcoal ash. Still finding it.
